Day 6 - Saturday, June 19, 2010
"To change your body, you must first understand that which is shaping it. Not fight it. Not force it. Not deprive it. Not shame it." ---Geneen Roth, Women, Food & God
I discovered this wonderful gem of a book because of Oprah. I was curious about the connection the author makes between food and spirituality, so I ordered it off Amazon. I happened to start reading it just as I started on this journey to lose 15 pounds in 24 days, so I thought it might be worthwhile commenting on the connections between the two processes.
The book's premise is that whatever shows up on your plate during the day speaks volumes about your beliefs, because those beliefs shape your body. So you have to discover, look at and accept those limiting beliefs to finally be free of any food addictions or to stop using food for comfort.
When I first read that, I didn't believe it, at least not from my experience. "My beliefs don't determine why I eat the way I do," I thought to myself. "I make deliberate choices about food - and sometimes I deliberately make bad choices because that is what I want!"
One of my choices was a mid-afternoon snack. Sometimes yogurt, more often cookies, around 3:00 or 3:30 every afternoon, I am usually scrounging around the kitchen looking for something to eat. I felt entitled to have that snack, even if it was laden with sugar and fat. Then I started on Medifast, and of course, unhealthy choices were put on the shelf. But what happened next is the fascinating part.
I still wanted those cookies or brownies in mid-afternoon!
But why did I still want them? Was it just a habit I had slid into without thinking, or was there something else?
It is those kinds of inquiries that Ms. Roth encourages to discover why you are eating the types and kinds of food you enjoy. When you start digging around in your beliefs, you begin to discover some amazing truths about yourself.
I know I did! After deliberately choosing to skip the cookies for a Crunch Bar, I sat down and thought about what feelings or associations I had attached to that particular food choice. Why did I always want a snack in the mid-afternoon? And why was it usually something sweet?
You may have already guessed the answer, but of course it was tied to coming home from grade school and sitting down with a snack. The relief that school was over (I was not a popular kid), the knowledge that I could relax and not worry about someone picking on me had been transferred to that snack!
Of course, I no longer have bullies pick on me (at least, that I am aware of!) and I have become a completely different person. But I am amazed that an ancient belief I held about myself when I was 10 years old (I need food to give me comfort) was still running in my sub-conscious and affecting my behavior! It was not a destructive belief; it was not hurting anyone; it just was not true for me anymore. And because I never took it out and looked at it to see if it was still true, that belief was triggering my physical action of eating 2 cookies or 1 brownie at 3:00 p.m. every day.
Now I am on a hunt to discover what else has been lurking in my belief system that propels me to make unhealthy food choices. And the best time to discover those beliefs is while I am eating portion controlled meal replacements from Medifast. These meals create a new universe of food choices, all of which are healthy. As long as I choose within that universe, my old beliefs can be exposed. I am freed to look at the behavior that is run by old, outdated beliefs. The best part is that I can look behind that behavior and see what emotions are attached to it!
As Ms. Roth states in her book:
"[W]e all have a hunger that's hard to name. A lot of the people who come to my retreats have never named it before, or else they've named it in church, but they can't actually see the connection between what they're doing with food and this yearning. I call it "the flame" that they have: They yearn for big answers to live a big life. But they have to start with the most basic fears."
I have started to look at my most basic fear (rejection) and accept it. Acceptance causes it to dissolve into the illusion it always was. And now I am free of that fear and can move on to the next one.
Don't believe me? Why don't you try it and see what comes up for you? I would love to hear about your journey as well (either spiritual, emotional or weight loss), so please add a comment to this blog.
Thank you for acting as my listening board so I can express these ideas, processes and discoveries!
Living well, beautifully!
Kathryn Eriksen
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