Friday, July 3, 2009

Who is on Your Bus?


The following exercise is from The Dark Side of the Shadow Chasers by Debbie Ford. (A must read for anyone seeking to learn more about their spiritual side).

Imagine that you are about to get on a bus that is loaded with a strange and different set of people. They all seem to know you, but you may not recognize them. As you are seated on the bus, several people approach you and want your attention. For some reason, you chose the person who seems to need you the most. You walk off the bus and have a conversation. And you discover something remarkable - all the people on the bus represent one aspect of your life - the good and the bad, the light and the shadows. By taking the time to connect with each person, you discover parts of yourself and come to understand why you act the way you do or carry negative beliefs that harm your growth.

It sounds a little hookey, but try it for yourself. This exercise helps clear out old beliefs to make way for new, empowering ones. Debbie recommends that you name each person, describe him or her as precisely as you can and imagine the encounter happening right now. The following story is what I encountered after taking a ride on "my bus."

It has been awhile since my last bus ride. When I stepped inside, I knew exactly who I wanted to find - Polly Procrastinator. I walked down the aisle asking everyone else if they had seen her. Tina Tuneless said that she was supposed to be here. Dolly Darling agreed, but added that you could always count on Polly to not follow through.

I finally spotted Polly walking slowly toward the bus. I went outside and grabbed her arm, dragging her to the bench where we could sit and talk. Polly was not pleased with my direct approach. "Leave me alone," she cried. "I have better things to do than talk to you!"

I knew that these messages were all a ploy to distract me from my real purpose. My insistence became forceful and Polly finally sat down.

I studied her for a moment. Black hair streaked with grey flew around her face (no time to color the hair or get it cut). Her brown eyes were dull and listless, while her skin tone was almost ashen (no time to take care of herself). Polly's clothes were shapeless and hung from her skinny frame (no time to shop or work out). She wore a long black coat that made her look almost invisible. In short, she looked like an unkempt bag lady who was not engaged in the business of living.

"What do you need from me?" I asked her in all seriousness.

Suddenly, the pretense vanished. Polly's eyes shone like spot lights into mine as she said intensely, "I need for you to not get overwhelmed at projects. And don' t let fear of failure stop you from taking action."

I nodded my understanding. I have a tendency to take on too much at one time, and not focus on one project until it is completed. And my inner critic always works overtime whenever I am starting a new venture or project.

I asked the second question that would yield the treasure. "What is your gift?"

Polly immediately stood up and flung out her arms. "I am all of your negative beliefs about yourself," she cried. Her coat opened up and then I saw what had been hidden from my view. The entire inside lining of her coat was covered in badges and pins. Each one had an expression or saying, such as "You are not worthy," or "You can't make money being creative," or "You can't handle your money."

After reading about five of these messages, I had had enough. I could feel the fog of indecision roll over me, paralyzing me from taking action. "O.K. I get the picture!" I cried in desperation.

Polly just looked at me with a sad smile and shook her head. She closed the coat and turned to get on the bus.

Suddenly, I realized what I had just done. "Hey, you tricked me!"

Polly turned so quickly that her coat swirled out in a wave of motion. The badges and pins clinked together at the motion. She walked back and stopped in front of me.

"I have been doing that to you almost your entire life." She opened her coat again and asked gently, "Don't you think its time to change? I really don't have room for any more badges."

I realized I had a choice to make. Let Polly get back on my bus and continue to run my life, or take her up on her offer and change.

I chose change.

Polly raised her arms to heaven and sang "Allelieua" then started shaking like a tree caught in a hurricane. Badges and pins began falling from her coat in a rainstorm of metal. It did not take long for a rather large pile of badges to form.

"Hey - what are you doing?" I cried in alarm.

"You won't be needing these anymore," she said calmly. "Pick one up," she commanded.

I bent down and grabbed the first one at the top of the pile. I noticed for the first time that it had writing on both sides! The front said, "I am not worthy." When I slowly turned it over in my hand, the other side shone like gold. "I am worthy" glowed up at me. I smiled and turned to look at her.

"You are all of these things - the good and the bad. It is your decision which side you chose to focus on." Polly paused for effect as she gave her last bit of wisdom. "Good thoughts attract more good thoughts. Bad thoughts..."

I nodded my understanding and said, "Thank you for this gift!" Polly grinned in delight and walked away, skipping every other step. I turned back toward the bus, wondering what other gifts I would encounter.

Just as I was about to get onboard, I happened to glance back at the shiny metal pile. It was much smaller than I remembered, so I watched for a few minutes. Suddenly, the answer was in front of my eyes, and I laughed with joy. Everyone on the bus was watching the spectacle and soon there were many voices added to my own.

Several squirrels were standing around the pile, picking and chosing which badge to take back to their nest. What a great use of materials that I no longer needed - talk about recycling!

By taking the time to examine one of my shadows, I found the gift. Try this exerise for yourself - you will be amazed at the hidden treasures that are waiting for you to discover!

May you meet your shadows and discover the gifts that waits for you.