I was asked by a waiter at Chili's last night what I gave up for Lent (the ashes on my forehead were a dead giveaway). Such a casual question for such an important decision! I gave some flip answer but the question stayed with me.
What could I give up to enhance my evolution into the next higher and greater version of myself?
Today the answer came to me. I did not embrace the idea at first; in fact, there was an instant, strong resistance to the very suggestion. Why such a powerful reaction to such a simple concept? Then I realized what was happening. The very idea of it threatened my ego and it responded accordingly. Now I knew I was on the right track!
So what am I going to give up for Lent?
Forgiveness.
I am sure that strikes you as odd - why would someone give up an attribute that we are supposed to practice? That is the common perspective, and true up to a point. If the phrase "give up" means to abstain from, resist or avoid, then forgiveness is not something that should be "given up." The negative side of the "giving up" phrase is the one that most people understand. But there is a positive interpretation with a deeper meaning that dovetails nicely into the Easter message.
To "give up" also means "to offer" or "lift up" or "to release."
Do you see the difference? If I offer forgiveness to those people who hurt me, I release the hurt from my mind. I no longer devote precious energy to thinking about how much it hurt, or how I will get that person back for what they did. I actually free myself from myself!
It is just like those like those thin, metal strips in the junk yard I described in my last blog. Every time you are rejected, hurt or treated unfairly, another mental strip is added to your thought junk pile. After a while, (if you follow this practice religiously), you will discover that all of your thoughts involve the junk pile. And on occasion, when you are feeling really special, you might even dig through the pile to find your most special, most powerful and favorite mental strip to prove that you win the prize for The Best Victim!
This practice always originates in the ego - that mind creation that usually dominates the victim mindset. Think about why the ego wants you to be entrapped in always thinking about or searching your junk pile. If you are so caught up or immersed in holding on to past hurts, events or slights, then you can not live in the moment. Your past is polluting your present. And you ability to stay focused in the present moment is destroyed. (to learn more about the ego's games and their effects on the present moment, read Ekhart Tolle's The Power of Now and A New Earth).
But let's get back to the main topic for today - forgiveness.
I am not referring to being the "bigger" person and "granting" my forgiveness. That is a false definition - again, from the ego! If I forgive as the ego would have me do it, then I walk away thinking I am better than you. That even though you hurt me, I should be congratulated for taking the high road. The ego would have you focus on the effect of forgiveness on yourself - not the situation.
Ego forgiveness keeps you going back to your junk pile, removing a mental strip, then taking it and putting into a new pile of junk labeled "Forgiveness." Now you have two piles of polluting thoughts to go to whenever you want! You have just duplicated the first junk pile and stored it under a new heading.
Does that make any sense?
There is a spiritual dimension of forgiveness that takes away blame, condemnation and accusations. A Course in Miracles hit the nail on the head when it defined forgiveness as a "shift in perception." But what does that mean?
The forgiveness I want to offer to God is to go back through my mental junk pile, examine each and every strip I have been hoarding, embrace it as a necessary part of my spiritual evolvement, and then let it go. Literally!
Let me give you an example. This morning, I sat quietly and breathed deeply for several moments. When I felt calm and my mind was quiet, I saw myself walking over to my mental pile (I am embarrassed to say it stands taller than me!) and I chose one mental strip from the stack. I read the particular hurt that I had inscribed on it, recalled the incident in every detail, and felt again every emotion attached to that strip. I don't run from the strength of the emotion, or the type of emotion - I just let it bubble up. After all of the emotion that surrounded that event had surfaced, I smiled at it, thanked it for being part of my life, and walked away.
When I opened my eyes, I felt lighter - more vibrant and free. A slight energy shift had just taken place. Instead of holding onto that mental strip (and all of the emotion attached to it) I had released the energy surrounding it. I no longer stored the energy from that event to use in the future. And because I accepted the event and my emotional reaction to it, the energy transformed into something good. It became a small step in the stairway of my evolution to become the highest, best expression of myself. I am going to use this technique every day for the next 40 days, and at Easter, I will be the proud owner of a much smaller thought junk pile!
This new vision of higher self pulls me forward. It makes me excited to think of the possibilities.
Imagine, celebrating Easter and embracing its message of hope and renewal, without the weight and resistance created by your mental junk pile!
Forgive your mental strips and you will be free!
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